Imagine living a slow, painful death.  Every day, a fragment of who you are is chipped away.  You're left feeling like the entire world has been pitted against you and everyone you love has turned their backs. Imagine feeling like a stranger in your own body and mind. You feel like you're hanging on to a thin thread, but you question your sanity for doing so. You exhaust every ounce of your being to just exist and you cannot even think of a good reason to continue doing this to yourself. You begin to doubt yourself and your existence.  Everyone and everything stops being real. You lose trust and you lose faith. At some point, you begin to feel like it will never end. People will try to cheer you on and convince you to keep pushing forward, but you will look at them and know that they have no clue what it is you're going through and that they themselves have not been introduced to the darkest parts of themselves. Because that is what the dark night of the soul is... an introduction to your shadow self. The most painful parts of who you are will be fully exposed for everyone to see.  You will face humiliation and denied access to support as you navigate the deep wounds that have no hiding place. You will face judgment and find no solace or comfort through the process. Sleepless nights, suicidal thoughts, numbness, exhaustion and rage rule this experience. It is maddening. It will show you who your friends are and who you cannot trust. This will be one of the hardest experiences of your life and on the other side of this experience all you are left with is your true authentic self.   For me, I suffered major losses, some of which I was responsible for. I questioned why I even work with sacred medicines when I couldn't compete with the fakes and frauds who were apt with social media and marketing and I had to really unearth my judgmental side that was easily enraged by phony healers and self-proclaimed teachers who have not done their own work and properly earned the right of passage to do as they were doing. In the end, I was brought back to a heart centered place of remembering who I am and what I am here to do and that is to shine MY light!